Remembered by Paul (Freda's son)

I am going to say a few words about Freda's life. It was a very dynamic and creative life spanning a time when the world around changed enormously.

As many of you know, she was born in Swansea in 1930 and lived her early life in a very close and loving family that was to be split up by the war. Swansea was heavily bombed and she was sent to stay with her grandmother for a time, also her father was sent to Palestine for five years when she was nine. I mention this because I believe that war and its aftermath deeply affected Freda.

It gave her the will to break the mould of the little woman at home and to understand Physics and Mathematics and the nature of the physical world. In the early fifties, she achieved a First in her Physics Degree at Swansea University. This was a tremendous achievement for a woman at that time. This was not at the expense of her own spiritual development as throughout her life she was an accomplished pianist and loved music and the arts.

On leaving university she was part of the Ban the Bomb movement going on marches and supporting various causes.

She was one of the first to challenge the tobacco industry over smoking as a cause of cancer and other illnesses, working on this as a thesis for her PHD and going on to work at the London School of Hygiene and Hammersmith hospital as a Medical Physicist, again, unusual for a woman of her age and background.

Around this time I was born, when she was only 23. Though I don't remember my early childhood that well I know that she was working very hard at the time to be both a research physicist and a mother and a wife. The pressure of this and other factors led to a split with my father and with her leaving her job and seeking therapy. I mention this because psychotherapy and the desire to understand human psychology then became the main focus of her life.

For a while she taught maths in a secondary school, and in the late 60s after reading various works by Carl Jung and others, she decided to be a therapist herself

This work she continued as I was growing up. Then meeting Ross, her new partner and embarking on a life with him, a relationship that I believe she found deeply fulfilling and which grew stronger over the years.

So far I have not mentioned one thing that 1 know meant a great deal to her and that she enjoyed very much. That is, that she sang in a choir. She was in a number of choirs during her life, including the Bach Choir, the Highgate choral Society and the New Elizabethan Singers in Bridport. For this reason, I regret that we're not singing a hymn today, as I know that she loved hymns but Freda herself stipulated that there should be no Christian element to the service.

The reasons for this are her own but I know that towards the end of her life she grew impatient with Creationist ideas and was keen to stress the importance of the Bible stories as stories, or as myths, from which much can be learned, not as actual events that happened. She did not as many do, find solace in religion, but was brave enough to look death in the face which she did with amazing fortitude. A strength that was nurtured and reinforced by her husband Ross, who through this difficult time showed considerable compassion and patience. When towards the end Freda knew that she did not have much time left with him, she wrote him a note including these lines from a poem:

'Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep.'

As a foot note to this; a short poem that became apparent to Ross, as words from beyond the grave. It was wntten by the late nineteen century poet Francis Thomson, its message is very much one that Freda would have agreed with.

All things by immortal power
Near and Far
Hiddenly
To each other linked are
That thou canst not stir a flower
Without troubling of a star.

__________________

For Freda

We stand in rain soaked anoraks
Perched on separate rocks
As every wave attacks.
The game's to make a pace
Forwards, the bravest is
The last to stop.
And each of us so lost
Amidst our will to last the
Longest, drips with water
Salt stung eyes
It wanders freeely through our
Shoes, then socks
And makes its gracious
Climb up tucked in trousers
Moves up and up
And dampens all around us
And now I see that time
Has stopped and nature's
Gradual rhythm's not,
It wears away relentless
At these shell encrusted rocks

Samuel (Freda's grandson)

poems by Freda